Do not trust hairdressers. Hairdressers are evil psychos. The lot of them.
Here is a transcript of the dialogue which took place at my hair salon this morning. (I may have paraphrased a bit for the purpose of accuracy.)
Caffeine Bubbles: Good morning, O beautiful hairdresser. I'm so sorry to bother you on this lovely day but -
Evil Psychopatic Hairdresser: WHADDAYAWANT.
CB: Well I was just wondering if I could please have a haircut if that's OK? I'm sure you must be very busy, so I understand if you don't have time, it's just -
EPH: WHADDAYAWANT.
CB: Could you please cut off 5cm? Observe my really long brunette-Blake-Lively-meets-Penelope-Cruz hair [cue millions of multicoloured butterflies and soft violins as CB's beautiful mane is softly rustled by the wind]. I want it to remain that way, just 5cm shorter.
EPH: RIGHT YEAH. 5CM. NOT 20CM.
CB: That's right. Thank you so much for your understanding, you are a wonderful, talented human being with so much kindness in your heart.
EPH: I UNDERSTAND PERFECTLY. [unsettling psychopathic smile as EPH holds up a shiny pair of lacerated scissors]
She cut off 20cm.
Me before
+
Me now
Well, sort of.
*blink*
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
It is as though part of my soul has been ripped from me. Life will NEVER be the same again! Indeed, I am facing a bad hair year!!!!!!
(Note to self: in the future, cut your hair yourself.)
Copyright © Caffeine Bubbles, 31 August 2010, Brussels
